A Husband Gets the Wife He Prepares for Himself

Posted on Aug 27, 2021 Topic : Inspirational/Devotional, Men's Christian Living
Posted by : Scott LaPierre

Husband, what if I told you that the Bible teaches you get the wife you prepare for yourself? It’s true! In the apostle Paul’s famous marriage passage he said:

[Jesus] might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (Ephesians 5:26-27).

There is a tremendous truth contained in these verses. Jesus does what He does—sanctifying and cleansing the church—so He can obtain a “church…in splendor, without spot or wrinkle [that] is holy and without blemish.” Here is the simplest way to say it: Christ gets the church He prepares for Himself. Because this is the premier marriage passage in Scripture it is also teaching that just as Jesus gets the church He prepares for Himself, a husband generally gets the wife he prepares for himself.

The Way Wives Respond

Wives respond well to love, holiness, and obedience to God’s Word. When a husband treats his wife forgivingly, lovingly, and tenderly, he will generally receive a more forgiving, loving, and tender wife. When a husband treats his wife unforgivingly, unlovingly, and harshly, he will generally receive a wife who is less forgiving, loving, and tender.

So aside from the fact that God commands a husband to be a spiritual leader, another great reason for him to do so is that he will receive a more spiritually mature wife. What can a husband expect to see as a result? Galatians 5:22-23 gives the answer: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”

Conversely, husbands who do not spiritually lead their wives will receive the opposite of the spirit, which is the flesh. Galatians 5:19-22 says, “the works of the flesh are hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, envy, even adultery.” How many husbands see these behaviors in their wives because they have been poor spiritual leaders? How many wives might be more spiritually mature if their husbands were nurturing them spiritually, praying for them, and reading the Bible with them?

Reaping and Sowing in Marriage

Tragically, I have heard some husbands talk terribly about their wives without considering the part they might have played in the behaviors they’re seeing. Men have come into my office and told me how badly their wives act. I’m listening and thinking, Would your wife be acting this way if you had been sanctifying and cleansing her as God’s Word commands? It sounds like you may have gotten the wife you prepared for yourself.

Galatians 6:7 tells us, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” While it’s true that the context of this verse has to do with giving to the church, the principle also applies to a husband’s relationship with his wife. Husbands generally reap what they sow in marriage. When husbands invest in their wives by sowing seeds of love and interest—when they plant spiritual seeds of sanctification—they will reap what they’ve sown.

Two Good Reasons to Love and Cherish

Let’s summarize what we’ve learned by keeping these truths in mind. Husbands should strive to sanctify and cleanse their wives:

1.Because God has commanded it to do so and will hold them accountable for doing so.

2.So that they receive spiritually mature and sanctified wives.

The good news is that God’s command to husbands benefits them as much as it benefits their wives. A husband who loves his wife as God commands will bring great blessings to himself. As Paul said, “He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28).

Discussion Questions from the Your Marriage God’s Way Workbook

Husband:

1.What are you “reaping” from the way you have prepared your wife for yourself?

2.How can you be a better spiritual leader to your wife?

Wife:

1.What is your husband “reaping” from the way he has prepared you for himself?

2.How can you help him be a better spiritual leader to you?

You can learn more about biblical marriage by visiting author and pastor Scott LaPierre on his website, or on his YouTube channel.