Attending a Social Gathering? Get the Best Small-Talk Secrets!

Posted on Jul 12, 2016 Topic : Women's Christian Living

You may have attended social or business gatherings in the past and found it frightening, or at the least uncomfortable, to strike up a conversation with total strangers. If you’re not a person with the gift of gab, don’t despair. The thing to remember is not so much what you say, but what you get others to say.

Here’s a fail-safe rule: Get people to talk about their favorite subject—themselves!

How do you do this? By asking open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no response. Of course, you’ll also need to arm yourself with a little bit of conversational fodder. And you’ll need to know which topics you should avoid.

Best Small-Talk Topics

- The person you’re talking to and their interests (Examples: “That’s a unique last name. What’s its origin?” “What inspired you to go into your line of business?” “What is your relationship to the bride and groom?”)

- Current events (Examples: “Did you catch that story about the woman who...?” “Was that an awesome football game or what?”)

Worst Small-Talk Topics

- Controversial issues (Examples: politics, religion, race, and sexual orientation)

Note: If you get pulled into such a discussion, respect the opinion of others and don’t attempt to make them agree with your point of view. Remember, a dissenting opinion is not a personal attack, and it will not affect the quality of your life.

- Personal issues (Examples: someone’s weight, salary, price of clothing/possessions; the details of your recent illness or surgery)

In addition to knowing the right topics to talk about (and the ones to avoid), it’s important to know how to approach someone and how to maintain and end a conversation. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

- Smile.

- Remind yourself that you belong at the event. Envision yourself as the missing piece in the social puzzle. The gathering would not be complete without you.

- Introduce yourself—slowly articulating your full name—to anybody who seems interesting. When introducing yourself, be sure to include helpful information that will allow the person to ask you follow-up questions. (Examples: “Hello, I’m John Brown. I’m a sales manager with X company.” “Hi, I’m Helen Smith. I’m the aunt of the bride.”)

- Don’t bore your listener with long, technical dialogue.

- Give the person you’re talking to your full attention. Don’t let your eyes dart around the room as if looking for a more interesting individual.

- Move on gracefully to the next person. Simply extend your hand for a handshake and use an exit line such as, “It’s been nice talking to you” or “I wish you the best on your project.”

Try setting a goal of talking to five or more unfamiliar people during the course of the event. If you implement the tips above, you should come away with others hailing you as a good conversationalist.