How Do You Become a Great Dad? It Starts with Desire

Posted on Mar 30, 2023 Topic : Men's Christian Living, Women's Christian Living
Posted by : Jerrad Lopes

As I was leaving the hospital where my fourth baby had just been born, another dad joined me on the elevator down to the parking lot. His wife had just given birth to their first baby the day before, and he was rushing down to get the car ready for their departure. I was standing in the back of the elevator as he hurried to get on before the doors closed behind him. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him.

“Congrats, man. You’re probably really excited,” I said to him as I watched him fumble his bags. Based on the amount of stuff he was trying to juggle, you would have thought he was leaving on a three-week trip to the desert. He had three massive water jugs in one hand, two suitcases, a diaper bag nearly choking his neck, and a car seat tucked into the crease of his elbow.

“Thanks, man! It’s our first!” he said as sweat dripped off his forehead and down into his eyes.

“Can I help you with any of that?”

“No, that’s okay. I think I’ve got it.” He settled into a much-needed pause as the elevator doors closed and took us down to the lower level.

“You visiting someone?” he asked after gathering his breath. His eyes were looking down at the box of cookies I was holding in my right hand.

“Oh, no. We just had our fourth. I’m headed down to pick up the car.” “Nice! And…all you have is a box of cookies?”

I sat there in silence for what felt like fifteen minutes.

“Um…I guess I’m just now realizing that this is basically all we brought to the hospital.”

We both started laughing like we were old friends sharing an inside joke.

As I sat down to write tonight, I started to think about my interaction with that dad on the elevator. It struck me how excited he was and how hard he was trying to be a great dad for his baby from day one. Even in my very brief interaction with him, I got the sense that this was the greatest day of his life, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he was the kind of husband and father that his family needed him to be.

I don’t think he’s alone in that.

For many of us young dads, we long to do more than just pay the bills and keep a roof over the heads of the ones we love. Our childhoods taught us that our souls need more than food on the table. Our hearts need to be engaged. Our longing for adventure needs direction. Our wandering soul needs a guide to show us the way. Something deep in our bones knows that our role as a husband and father is so much more than simply showing up. And whether we can find the words to articulate it or not, there is something deep within us that drives us to be more than the men who have gone before us. Not that all the men who have gone before us have failed (although some have—majorly) but that we should take the baton that has been placed in our hands and run farther with it.

It’s that internal longing that almost instinctively motivates us to go down the slides, wash the dishes, cook a meal, practice ballet, wrestle on the floor, play hide-and-seek, and change the diapers.

And because of that, I want to pause and say something to you that you may not have heard in a while, or maybe even ever.

You’re doing a good job, man.

Seriously. Your kids are lucky to have a dad like you.