How to Build Relationships and Be a Friend Like Jesus

Posted on Jun 05, 2018 Topic : Men's Christian Living

"While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with Him and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked His disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’” (Matthew 9:10-11).

Jesus was relational because He loved people, especially people who claimed no religious devotion. He took His disciples with Him to the house of Matthew, a despised man, frowned on by his fellow Jews for being a Roman tax surrogate. Jesus knew the best way to get to know someone was to be with them where they lived. He invited His followers to join Him so they could learn how to better love sinners. Christ was criticized by the religious elite for being too familiar with sinners, but our Lord was happily fulfilling His mission “to seek and to save the lost” (Luke 19:10).

The quality of our lives is influenced by the quality of our relationships. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

You probably desire quality relationships, but are you willing to pay the price of investing in others with the goal of providing more value than you receive?

What does it mean to have quality of life? Is it good health? Harmony at home? A happy heart? Financial security? Freedom of speech and worship? A fulfilling career? Grateful and contented children? A meaningful marriage? A life of significance? Peace with God? Probably some of these elements and more make up a life worth living, a quality life.

Relationships matter because the quality of our lives is influenced so heavily by the quality of our relationships. Who we spend time with is who we become. If we spend time with those who are wise with their finances, we too can become wise with our finances—if we pay attention. If we worship with those of great faith, we too can grow in our faith. Our lives reflect our relationships.

How is your relational portfolio? Is it diversified with people who bring value to all aspects of your life? Conversely, are you intentional in investing time and interest in those who look to you for guidance? Quality of life flows not just from receiving wisdom but from giving wisdom. Wisdom works both directions for the good of relationships.

Be careful not to excuse bad behavior because you are trying to relate to questionable company. 1 Corinthinas 15:33 warns, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” Draw a line, and stay far away from eroding your character. You don’t have to join in the bad to be an influence for the good. In some situations, what you choose not to do defines you more than what you choose to do. Use business trips and vacations to model faithfulness, not foolishness. Stand for what’s right when others bow to what’s wrong.

Above all, quality of life results from your relationship with Christ. He is life itself, and everything good in life flows from Him. When you grow in your personal relationship with Jesus, it affects the growth of all your other relationships. Relationship building with heaven builds relationships on earth. Ultimately, Jesus’s life is the one to follow and model. The resurrected life of Christ gives you the spiritual stamina to experience a quality life.

Leading relationally is one of the most fulfilling aspects of serving as a wise leader. Whether at home or work, we have the opportunity to treat others like human beings with very real needs and wants, without compromising the vision and mission of the organization. There will always be a tension between valuing a relationship over results, but this is how we grow as wise leaders.

Are you growing in your relational skills? Are you living in community and being challenged relationally? Wherever you are on the relational continuum of engaged or unengaged, stay in the relational game.