How to Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go

Posted on Jun 27, 2024 Topic : Inspirational/Devotional, Women's Christian Living
Posted by : Karen Stubbs

I was just in California with my two young grandkids and already I can see their different personalities shining through.

Evie, the oldest, is very sensitive. You can tell immediately if her feelings are hurt. Chapman, her younger brother, is full of personality and full of charm. He also has a little bit of a temper when he doesn’t get his way.

My daughter Kelsey is like all the other moms out there learning how to parent each child differently. It takes more work than parenting with broad brushstrokes, but pays off in effectiveness in the long run.

As parents, we need to learn to see our children as unique creations of God and parent accordingly. Proverbs 22:6 is a familiar parenting verse and we often hear it quoted,

“Train up a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (NASB)

I love the Amplified version of this verse, which elaborates on the Hebrew meaning of “way he should go." That version reads,

“Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (AMP)

The practical take-away here is that not all children should go the same way. God has created each child uniquely and they all have unique paths—although they ALL require training! As parents, we need to take time to figure each child out, and it takes a lot of time.

I remember when my daughter Emily, who is very sensitive and does not like confrontation, was younger, she would lie to me because she did not want to get into trouble. She would tell me whatever it was that I wanted to hear. I knew she was lying, but I could never figure out the reason why. I began to pray about it, and in time God showed me that Emily was wired with a very sensitive spirit and feared disappointing others or causing hurt. I also learned that she was different from my other children, and that if I addressed her behavior with a harsh tone of voice, she would shut down.

I began to change my approach with Emily and took a different style, a softer approach. I stopped focusing on the lying for a time, and started teaching Emily that confrontation is not always a bad thing. I shared that because of her lies, I could no longer trust her and trust is very important in a relationship; trust affects everything! It took years, but eventually Emily learned to speak truth even when she feared the consequences, a lesson we all need to learn!

This week I want to encourage you to take a step toward studying your child. That could be as simple as spending one on one time with them, or it could mean grabbing a book on personalities or the love languages and really thinking through how it applies to your child. Pray and ask God to reveal ‘the way they should go’ to you so that you can parent them with wisdom.

This is hard work and takes a lot of time. But in the end, it is worth every second of your investment!