Saying No When You Really Need to Say It

Posted on Nov 01, 2016 Topic : Women's Christian Living

Do you ever struggle with saying no? If you get so anxious about declining a request that you end up going against your better judgment and saying yes or avoiding the conversation altogether, here are a few ways to authentically voice exactly what you need to say.

1. “Let me think about that.”

Sometimes, you’re just not sure you want to say yes. If it just doesn’t feel right or it is a request that deserves more than a knee-jerk reaction, say, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” Especially if you are someone who says yes much too quickly and ends up regretting it, this statement should become a habit. It gives you the breathing space to process the request and build the courage to be honest in your response. Then, if the answer is no, one of the next three statements can be your follow-up.

2. “That’s not going to work for me.”

Whether it is a conflict in your schedule or a conflict in values, “That’s not going to work for me” is a boundary-setting statement. It indicates that your decision is about your needs and/or boundaries. If there is a negotiation to be had about the request, it communicates that the only way to get to a yes is for the person making the request to adjust the request so that your needs are met.

3. “I wish I could say yes.”

Especially when you feel badly about saying no, expressing that you wish you could say yes is a way to acknowledge this is not something you take lightly. You want to be able to help, but you simply cannot.

4. “No.”

Not every no requires an explanation. Sometimes a simple “Thanks, but no thanks” is really all you need. Especially if you have a habit of saying no tacked on to a long explanation that eventually turns into a yes, try saying no and then stop yourself from saying anything else. “No” is a complete sentence.

When there is a situation where you need to say no, tell the truth and just say it. When you feel afraid, remember that all you need to do—literally—is open your mouth and let the words come out. Trust that things will unfold as they should.

You’ll keep yourself out of a lot of trouble and avoid misunderstandings if you boldly, but kindly, tell the truth. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.