There’s Help and Hope When You’re Going Through a Friend Breakup

Posted on Sep 06, 2018 Topic : Inspirational/Devotional, Men's Christian Living, Women's Christian Living
Posted by : Mary DeMuth

Perhaps you’re like me. You have a hard time letting friendships go—even when they’ve run their course, or perhaps because you’ve realized they’ve been a toxic influence in your life.

(Curious if you’re currently encountering one of the seven deadly friendships, you can take the quiz here: 7deadlyfriendships.com)

Maybe you obsess over what you’ve done to create or contribute to the demise. And perhaps you continue to pursue the friend even after it’s probably not wise to do so. Maybe you panic when the friendship shifts, and you grab at its remnant with no small hint of desperation.

Last weekend, one of my friend breakups came to mind when a long-forgotten notification reminded me of her birthday. I felt that familiar panic. What hadn’t I done? What should I have done? Why weren’t we close any more?

The problem with that kind of thinking is twofold:

We shift all the blame to ourselves and don’t adequately assess both sides of the story.
We forget that sometimes God moves people out of our lives for reasons only He understands.

When friendships go sour (or we move away, or someone changes), we don’t need to become grabby and clingy. While it’s good to at least have one conversation of final exploration, it’s not good to continually obsess over the change in relationship. Talk about it, then if you sense God giving you the go ahead, move on. No need to gossip. No need to chase.

God has new friendships in store for you. New friendships that will uniquely enhance and shape you in this period of your life. And as #2 intimated, God has His reasons for moving you on (and moving your friend on). Even if there’s no closure, you need to create closure in your mind, otherwise your head will constantly flurry about what happened.

While you may feel helpless after the friend breakup, you do have a choice. You can embitter yourself or ask God to empower you to forgive and let go of bitterness.

If you find yourself in this situation, here’s a prayer you can pray:

God, thank You for ______________. You know I love that person. But I choose to release _____________ in Your hands. Bring _____________ back into my life at Your choosing. Or not. But whatever happens, don’t let me get stuck back there in bitterness. Today, please help me live in anticipation for the new friendships You have for me. And remind me that I will see ____________ in heaven someday, where our friendship will be beautifully set free. Amen.