Why Do I Keep Acting This Way? Offering Jesus’ Love to Our Childhood Self

Posted on Feb 16, 2023 Topic : Inspirational/Devotional, Men's Christian Living, Women's Christian Living
Posted by : Debra Fileta

If I had to use one word to describe Brett when I met him, that word would be stuck. He was stuck in his relationships, stuck in his career, and stuck in his faith. He felt like he was spinning his wheels and getting nowhere. “I don’t know why I’m so stuck. I’m starting to wonder if I’m going to be stuck forever,” he said to me, with hopeless tears filling his eyes.

I wanted to help Brett get unstuck. And to do that, we had to go backward before we could move forward.

As Brett shared stories from his childhood, he admitted, “I haven’t thought about these things in forever.” Stories of getting bullied began to emerge, one after the other. Getting harassed and abused by his peers was part of his daily routine. As he shared, I helped him realize that he had been conditioned to be as quiet, as little, as passive, and as compliant as possible so no attention would come his way. “In a way,” Brett said, “I carried that same mentality into my everyday life, trying not to stand out anywhere I went, including with my family, my friends, and even in my romantic life. I’m still compliant. Still passive. Still quiet. It’s almost like I’m a little kid, just waiting for someone to tell me what to do, having no power of my own.”

There’s a little child living inside each one of us. It’s our childhood self. Without our awareness and without our permission, we can behave or react in ways that reflect that little child instead of living as the confident, secure, loved men and women of God we are.

I’ve counseled so many people who feel stuck, not even realizing that they’re still functioning out of past pain, fears, and insecurities. But it makes sense, doesn’t it? We can’t expect a little child to carry the weight and responsibility of life the way we can expect an adult to. So how do we take back control?

Jesus has so much compassion for children. With all the important passages we read in Scripture of the words Jesus actually spoke, we can see He took the time to specifically address children. This is so significant because during that time in Middle Eastern culture, children weren’t inherently seen as important parts of society. Scripture was completely revolutionary in calling children a gift and a reward; in seeing them as precious, valuable, worthy of compassion and love (see Psalm 127:3). No matter who they were or what they had been though, there was always room for children by the feet of Jesus.

My friend, Jesus loves you. He loves the adult version of you, the child version of you, and every bit in between. He looks on you with compassion and wants you to look at yourself the same way. You were a child. A little child. A child trying to do the best you could with what you had.

I want you to think about your childhood self for a moment. What were you like? What did you go through? How did you feel? Imagine yourself in the most vulnerable position you were in as a child.

When dealing with our childhood selves, in a way, we have to “reparent” ourselves. We have to look at those childhood selves and help them find their way. God has given us all the power and perspective we need to live this life victoriously. So, every now and again, look that little child in the eyes with grace, compassion, and kindness, and remind them that they’re okay, they’re wanted, they’re loved. Their fear, shame, pain, insecurity, and anxiety cannot hold you back anymore. There’s a place for them at the feet of Jesus. And there’s a place for you too.

VERSE FOR REFLECTION

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these” (Mark 19:14).