Moms Bringing Out the Best in Dads

FOREWORD by Dannah Gresh

We live in a fatherless period in time.

I think often of this verse from a fatherless time in ancient history. What a promise God made as the final ink on the last pages of the Old Testament began to dry:

He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers. (Malachi 4:6)

I’ve used this verse as a prayer in my home, asking God to make me the kind of mother who partners with God in turning the hearts of the Gresh children (and grandchildren) toward Bob! The kind of woman who turns Bob’s heart toward our children (and grandchildren). If your children, like mine, have an involved dad in their lives, they are blessed. Let’s be the kind of women who live as if we believe that!

My husband is what we call a Wolf Dad. He and I learned the term years ago from a mentor who was teaching us about parenting. You see, wolves co-parent, but they fulfill very different roles.

For the first six months of life, a litter of cubs stays in the den receiving nurture, nourishment, and protection from “mom.” During that time, if a cub attempts to wander from the den, she gently picks it up by the scruff of the neck and draws it deep back in. Her job is to keep the pups safe, teach them to groom themselves, and cuddle. Otherwise, they would not bond.

But after six months, “dad” steps in. He invites those cuddly pups out of the den. In fact, sometimes he pushes them out. With each invitation or push, the litter goes farther and farther with him. Eventually, they make it far enough to play a game of relay using sticks. His job is to teach them to take risks and to be hunters. Otherwise, they would not survive.

Bob and I believe that mothers and fathers, like co-parenting wolves, have different roles to play in the lives of children. We also believe that those differences should be celebrated and affirmed. Sadly, that’s not what many women do when their husband parent differently. When they act likes dads!

That’s why I’m so thankful for this book from Jay. He provides practical advice for wives and moms to celebrate and affirm the unique role a dad plays in a child’s development. This book will help you encourage your husband to move into his hero role in your family. That includes letting him parent differently. And, of course, it includes knowing when and how to practically help him or advise him.

From something as simple as teaching dads to swaddle a baby using the burrito fold to practical strategies for activating their strengths while overcoming their weaknesses, you have incredible opportunities to help your husband become the hero your children need. Jay Payleitner speaks from the perspective of personal experience and biblical truth to equip moms and encourage dads.

I’ve been following Jay for years, and I’m so thankful he has written this great book for women. Dive into the pages of it. It’ll help you become the kind of woman who turns the hearts of a father and his children toward one another!

Dannah Gresh, author of Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl and Six Ways to Keep the Good in Your Boy; founder, True Girl

“Jay Payleitner’s latest book is a joy to read. It’s written in his usual common sense, humorous style with just a touch of panache. Not only will moms benefit from this book, but I’m betting many dads will thank him as well. Frankly, as a fellow author I’m always a bit envious of just how good Jay’s books really are.”
—Rick Johnson, bestselling author of That’s My Son

“Moms Bringing Out the Best in Dads is filled with simple, uncomplicated reminders. As a mom, I learned that words are important, but actions and decisions can shout, ‘I love you! I respect you! I appreciate you! Prayer for your spouse, your children, and yourself can bring out the best in everyone.”
—Kendra Smiley, author of Journey of a Strong-Willed Child

“Moms and dads have different ways of parenting, but both are critical to a child’s upbringing. Jay shows how moms and dads can help each other be the best parents possible—not through competition but through coparenting.”
—Eric Carroll, Dad Talk Today

“Reading Jay’s book has given me a whole new vocabulary to use with my husband! Packed with creative ideas and heartwarming stories, this book will help you appreciate your husband and make him feel respected as a dad. Your wild support of your husband is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.”
—Arlene Pellicane, author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband and host of The Happy Home podcast

“As dads seem demeaned on every level, Moms Bringing Out the Best in Dads is refreshing and inspiring. Jay is so sensitive and gracious as he encourages moms to bring out the best in dads without belittling either parent. His humor, wisdom, and practical and biblical truths are priceless.”
—Dr. Clarence Shuler, president of Building Lasting Relationships

“Get ready…Jay is about to reveal to you what your children’s father might never have the courage to say. With honesty, humor, and a heart for the next generation, Jay offers wisdom—and even gentle warnings—to help spouses experience the best that parenting has to offer. Perhaps the best part about his book, though, is that he presents what he’s asking you to do not as a chore but as an exciting challenge, and even an adventure.”
—Cindi McMenamin, author of When a Woman Inspires Her Husband

“Jay has a unique way of marrying genuine wisdom with down-to-earth insights for family living. In this book he gives wives dozens of practical tools they can begin using today in order to help their husbands be the best dads possible. The backdrop is the reminder that couples are on the same team and working toward the shared goal of raising healthy, well-loved children. Wives will find themselves motivated to begin putting these ideas into practice.”
—Kim Caifano, writer and speaker

“As someone who deals with the devastating consequences of fatherlessness every day, I am ecstatic to find a book that will enable wives to help their husbands thrive. Jay Payleitner’s love for fatherhood, family, and marriage flows off every page. Using touching anecdotes, dad-joke humor, and biblical truth, his wisdom will gently take up residence in your heart. Romantic (“Kiss Him in the Kitchen”) as well as practical (“Recalibrate His Smartphone Pics”), Mom’s Bringing Out the Best in Dads is a toolkit, compass, and roadmap every wife needs.”
—Ron Hauenstein, founder and CEO, Spokane Fatherhood Initiative